Screen Time for Toddlers: Practical Rules From a Dad Who Makes Games

I make children's games for a living, in the evenings anyway, so I have a stake in this. I also have a toddler and a laptop, so I have the same worries as everyone else. This is what the guidance says, what I think it misses, and the rules we actually use at home.

What the guidance says

The American Academy of Pediatrics' current position, in plain terms:

• Under 18 months: avoid screens other than video calls.
• 18 to 24 months: if you introduce digital media, choose high-quality content and use it with your child.
• 2 to 5 years: limit to about an hour a day of high-quality content, co-viewed where possible.
• All ages: no screens during meals or in the hour before bed, and keep bedrooms screen-free.

The World Health Organization is stricter on the under-twos (none at all) and similar for two to four (no more than an hour, less is better). Neither body says screens are poison. Both say the same two things: what is on the screen matters, and who is with the child matters.

The part the headlines miss

"Screen time" lumps together things that have nothing in common. A toddler watching autoplaying videos alone is having a very different hour from a toddler sitting on a parent's lap pressing keys and hearing the parent name each emoji. The research that worries me is almost all about the first kind: passive, alone, algorithm-fed. The research on the second kind, interactive and shared, is much gentler.

So the question I ask is not "how many minutes" but "is this doing something, or is it being done to?" A game where the child acts and the screen responds is closer to a toy than to television. It is still a screen, and the limits still apply, but it is not the thing the studies are warning about.

Our house rules

These are ours, not a prescription.

1. Games, not videos, under three. If there is a screen, the child is driving it. Autoplay is the enemy; nothing on this site autoplays anything.
2. Together, mostly. The best sessions have a grown-up narrating: "You pressed the blue one!" "Where did we see the other lion?" Ten minutes together beats thirty alone.
3. Short and scheduled. A known slot, after lunch for us, so it is not a bargaining chip. Ten to fifteen minutes at two, up to half an hour at four.
4. Never before bed, never at the table. This one has real evidence behind it (screens and sleep do not mix) and it is the easiest to hold.
5. The screen is not the reward or the punishment. Making it the prize makes it more desirable. It is just one of the things we do.
6. Choose things with a natural end. A memory board finishes. A photo gets taken. A tower falls. A game that ends on its own is far easier to stop than one that scrolls forever.

What to look for in a game

The same checklist I use when building one:

• No ads, and nothing to buy. A toddler cannot tell an ad from the game.
• No autoplay, no feed, no "next video".
• Responds to the child; does not perform at them.
• No fail state for under-fives. A "game over" at two is just bewildering.
• Ends cleanly, so stopping is not a fight.
• Works offline, so it is not a portal to the wider internet.

Every game on Tiny Hands Play is built against that list, which is the honest reason I am comfortable recommending my own site here. If you want a starting point, Kaboom Keys for the under-twos and Dress-Up Party or Memory Match from about two and a half.

When it goes wrong

It will. The tantrum at "time's up" is developmentally normal and not a sign of addiction. What helps us: a two-minute warning, letting the child do the last action ("take one more photo, then we stop"), and having the next thing ready. The transition is the hard part, not the screen.

This is a parent's experience, not medical advice. If you are worried about your child's development or sleep, talk to your pediatrician.